scribbled ; 1:52 am on Sunday, June 01, 2008
its almost 2am in the morning.. i noe im supposed to sleep.. cos im sick.. but i jus cant get to sleep..

this is the most dreaded day i can really imagine since everything happened.. 20 over days ago.. why would i say that? today at 1st june 2008.. it was supposed to be our 25th mth being together.. how i wish it is today.. i have alot of things to let u noe and to tell u.. but i noe its over..

i tried to sleep just now.. i noe i wouldnt be able to sleep.. i even tried to tire myself out earlier on at jason's housewarming.. but my eyes are still wide open at this point of time.. i actually didnt even wanna be online.. but i still did.. i feel like saying everything out.. it feels miserable keeping everything inside me.. hiding it from everyone.. pretending to be happy to everyone.. its tiring.. i swear..

25 months ago.. during 1st may 2006.. at 9.14am.. yes.. i always told u i couldnt rmb the time.. but actually i did.. i asked u whether u would be willing to be another part of my life.. if i were to choose again.. i would have no hesitation to ask u the same thing over again.. i never regretted that decision.. u brought tears.. joy.. and happiness to my life.. without u.. life isnt the same anymore.. u have cemeted a place in my heart.. its a place where no one will ever replace..

now seeing that u are happy.. im happy for u.. it doesnt really matters on wad is gonna happen to me in the future.. wads most important is wad is going to happen to u in the future.. i want u to be happy.. 不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有。this sentence is very true.. really true..

just rmb.. no matter what.. im willing to be that cushion for u to fall on.. im willing to take all the sufferings from u jus to make sure u are fine.. im willing to do that.. yes i do..

yes i noe its kinda dramatic.. but yeah.. everyone else is sleeping.. im sobbing while looking at our memories.. i've tried to move on.. i tried.. but i just couldnt.. simply beocs i can no longer find a meaning to move on.. please.. rmb me.. and i want u to be happy..

once again.. just wanna tell u.. baby i do love you more den anything else..

yours truly.. bryan..