scribbled ; 10:25 pm on Monday, April 28, 2008
i dunno wad has gotten into my head.. i noe u are trying.. but it seems like i've been the one giving unwanted pressure.. yes i did say that i lost all my trust in you.. but it seems like.. while u are trying wadever u can to gain back my trust.. it seems that subconsiously.. im not trusting wad u are telling me..

i seriously hate myself now.. i've lost my way in everything.. my family.. my dearest.. my frens.. my wadever.. i lost it.. i hate everything.. i hate the way i do things.. i hate the way im facing problems..

how i wish the clock would jus stop at the time where im a baby.. where i dunno anything bout my surroundings.. jus laugh.. cry and do wadever i want.. im starting to forget myself.. the past are coming back to haunt me.. i jus hope that u are happy.. with or without me.. i noe wadever i said that day was very harsh.. its true.. i meant everything i said.. but inside me.. im really soft.. i couldnt bear to let u go either..

im starting to feel that everything's not right for me.. its like im losing faith and trust in everything i do.. i no longer trust myself.. its as if im getting so sensitive over everything.. i jus cant trust myself anymore.. im jus being so selfish.. i no longer can be wad i used to be.. everyday i had the same nightmare.. its giving me tonnes of unwanted pressure.. i dont wanna think that way.. but it jus seems like its like a scare.. i cant seem to stop dreaming bout that.. can someone jus kill me? =(