scribbled ; 2:46 am on Sunday, March 19, 2006
i think.. many things changed.. i just feel so different these days.. i noe my work is really tiring.. i noe i cant take it anymore.. but i still chose to continue working with my tired body.. painful legs.. instead of taking off days.. maybe i just wanna bury myself with work.. perhaps.. thats the only way i can really work my way thru to find a new meaning for my life..

u can say im petty.. wadever u wanna call me.. but let me make this clear.. im not someone who's not forgiving.. however.. im someone.. that wont forget.. how u treated me.. yes.. u can jolly well leave.. but i'll be still ok.. but i hate ppl cheating me.. and worst of all.. i din get to hear that.. i found it out myself.. clever me eh? so let me get tis clear.. its not the matter of time.. is u.. who never really thought of how things were.. dun blame me.. or anyway.. take me as a petty guy den.. well.. i dun think u understand.. so forget it..

$_$.. i think thats an excuse for me to continue working.. i guess the only reason i wanna continue working.. is to forget certain things.. i just wanna try continue to work.. without mixing around.. after work go home sleep.. wake up go work again.. im tired.. really.. my legs and body are aching badly.. yet.. i dun wanna stop.. is the past haunting me again? i dunno.. i guess i was really wrong.. when i decided to get attached last year.. i made 1 big big wrong move.. now.. i seriously regret this.. time can no more turn back.. it is haunting me.. i guess.. thats why.. i forgot the meaning of love.. and i forgot the meaning of happiness too.. well.. i hope i'll be ok..