scribbled ; 11:31 pm on Thursday, November 03, 2005
well.. just came home.. pretty tired.. now we finally noe how does it feels to travel from boon lay back to tpy/novena.. lols.. its ok.. hahas.. =p anyway.. ytd.. hmm.. sch.. nth much.. den after that.. went to meet guang hon beng jy and teck.. den we go bishan eat dinner.. b4 meeting up with alan after that to go amk for pool/arcade.. lols.. had fun.. but sad to say.. holidays ending soon =/ hais.. den today.. 10+ woke up le.. cos afternoon going juan hse for mahjong/games.. den met up with ms at novena 1st.. hon went himself.. and ahtong surprising early cos for his MAGGIE MEE!!.. lols.. den after that.. huisi came.. followed by beng and jy.. den at there.. starting mahjong abit.. den blackjack.. all lose $$ to hon.. den big small.. all win back.. LOL!.. big winner.. JUAN + MS + that BEAR HUISI.. LOL!.. gei siao gei siao.. den win so much.. hahas.. bth.. had fun.. tml marina steamboat.. ahh.. hope to see all of u guys there!!.. =DD

hmm.. this part.. i just wanna release myself bah.. dunno why.. the past seems to be haunting me.. the same old pictures flashed into my mind.. the same scenario are re-acting inside my head.. i have no idea why.. its causing me to lose sleep and lose my cheerfulness.. im wondering.. maybe the problem lies with me.. im not able to forget them.. i want to.. but sub-consiously.. im not letting them go.. i really dun wanna be haunted by those past.. i wanna lead a simple and happy life.. those memories are nth but pains.. i must tell myself to stand up and be counted.. i dun wanna lose out meaningful time due to the past.. i wanna let go.. heavy heavy heavy heart.. reason? no idea.. i hate my past.. =/