scribbled ; 3:57 pm on Saturday, August 20, 2005
weeeE!!.. im back blogging again.. of cos.. no happy things definitely.. well.. its done for me and her.. dun wanna elaborate more.. pain is there.. but i feel a sense of numbness.. well.. who will bother.. dun even noe wad im gonna do next.. take a step at a time.. for my studies.. i think already no hope ler.. so sick.. seriously.. i dun understand y i haven wake up.. obviously r/s is NOT something for me.. i insisting of taking it on.. how dumb i can be? forget it.. im dumb anyway.. thats wad my frens call me.. well.. going out now.. going to meet that bday girl LING.. haha.. she's FINALLY 13 .. and yeah.. after that.. go out alone.. walk.. no.. i cant cry.. i feel pain.. BUT i dun wanna cry.. just make it as a promise she given me.. now on.. i'll just try to carry on.. whether its successful or not.. i dun care.. just wanna lead a slow and peaceful life.. for my aims? i have no aims.. too tired to have one.. they are nth but illusions.. feel so tired suddenly.. i have pains.. but i feel dead.. ai yi ge ren.. ke yi shi na me tong ku de.. thats wad i finally realise.. =) to all my frens out there.. STAY HAPPY!! STAY CHEERFUL OK?! thats a wish from me.. although my 3 bday wishes wont work out anymore.. i hope i can make some extra wishes.. =D JUST for u guys.. =) thanks for being there for me on my bday.. alex,joey,jon,gene,bao,jw,andy,ql,lun,chinser,xian,ying,snow.. ok did i miss anyone out? lols.. andy thanks for that smashing of CAKE ok? haha.. although u guys knew i was sad.. u all still nv gave up on making my laugh.. thanks.. im going out ler.. wont be home.. just wanna be alone.. if wanna find me call or sms ok? thanks everyone.. and to HER: ni yao kuai le.. u have 1 week to think.. dun bother bout me.. just be urself.. =)