scribbled ; 11:55 pm on Wednesday, August 17, 2005
the tears had dried up.. i finally can conclude.. i belong to no one.. i was told this by my CI when i was an NCO.. when u decide on something.. nv backout.. that will only cause ur mates.. or ppl close to u to end up hurt.. i finally understand that meaning.. i did that.. someone did that too.. i oso realise.. its nv easy to love someone.. obstacles.. thats one thing.. but i always feel.. if u persist.. u will excel.. but giving up halfway.. has always been the choice.. thats wad ppl always do.. promises are meant to be broken.. there's no way a promise can last forever.. unless its something impt.. i hate going on with this kinda life.. the pain down there is unbearable.. i nv thought i would be upset by relationship.. now yeah.. at the age of 17 years and 364 days.. i finally noe.. im someone so fragile.. VERY fragile.. getting knocked down so easily.. i've never been able to stand up straight again.. u pulled me up high.. and suddenly u let go of ur support and slammed me straight back to earth.. u did it not once.. not twice.. its something i cant count.. for those who noes me.. YEAH.. u guys wont ever recognise me anymore.. just LOST that interest in continuing wad im supposed to do now.. i lost EVERYTHING.. and i mean EVERYTHING.. i dun need anyone to pity.. I BROUGHT IT MYSELF.. damn.. bryan.. U DESERVE IT.. im dead anyway.. who will ever bother now.. im so tired of all these.. this world is cold.. cruel.. never been warm.. who will be the next to warm my heart? will there be any? will there? how would i noe..?

a tragic ending of a sweet story..
the guy has left.. and never be found again..
cos love to him is something that hurt me far too much
he fears to trust anyone.. not even his family.. he's dead now..