scribbled ; 9:21 am on Monday, July 25, 2005
yeap.. surprisingly.. im blogging tis early.. well.. tis could be my last post here.. i guess.. well.. for those "frens" of mine.. who have been waiting for this day to happen.. yes.. it had happened.. i dun need sympathy from u guys.. u guys can laugh all u wan.. ok.. i dunno.. suddenly i felt promises are meant to be broken.. i dunno.. life without her now seems dead.. she means soooooooo much to me.. she's basically priceless to me.. but she chose to left.. at a low note.. i dun respect her decision at all.. and as usual.. i will wait.. cos endurance pays off.. thats wad i guess.. but nvm.. my tears had all dried up.. there's no more for me to squeeze how.. my heart is stabbed right in where the pains dun go away.. the smiles and laughters of mine will never be back again.. never again.. and yeap.. mostly likely leaving sch would be my option.. cos since i dun have the heart to study.. y waste my dad's money.. 60% is decided.. just hafta have a heart to heart chat with my dad.. i think at the point of time.. my tears would roll again.. so be it.. im someone that's not good enough for anyone.. i believed so.. so be it.. right now i just wanna be alone.. and yes.. to all my really good frens.. im sorry to disappoint u guys.. i cant keep someone i really love with me.. to add on.. from now on.. dun bother to tok to me ok? im just gonna be a spoilsports to all of u.. dun wanna be that blacksheep among u guys.. so it would be better that u guys can take it as u all dunno me.. as for her.. i dunno how she is thinking.. i cant think properly as well.. u chose this route.. i hope u can take that back.. thinking of how much we went thru.. if u think all these are useless.. den.. i really cant say much bout it.. u noe how much u mean to me.. and i oso noe how much i do mean to u.. u said i dun understand.. yes.. i may not.. but.. i really tried to make u happy instead of toking bout those things.. i fought for u when ppl tried to tok bad bout u.. cos all i wan is u to be loved and being cared by me.. its just between the 2 of us.. the way u told me.. its like.. u had planned on it for sooo long.. b4 finally giving me back everything.. on a night when im sick.. all i wanted was u to be wif me.. even on the fone.. i felt warmth.. but on a sudden u told me this.. definitely no one can accept it.. hais.. life? wad is life? it means nothing now.. to be honest.. to everyone out there.. the bryan u guys noe.. will no longer come to live.. bye and take care everyone.. and to u.. take good care of urself.. u always tend to do things u shouldnt do.. must really take good care of ur body.. to me u are always a strong girl..

BRYAN-hartts-LING forever.. its something that wont change..
but right now.. im as dead as anything.. the wounds wont heal for life..
no longer alive.. im gone for good..