scribbled ; 10:01 pm on Sunday, July 31, 2005
well.. alot to post.. hmm.. yea recently.. i mean on friday.. went to temple.. prayed.. and of cos.. also prayed for me and her to be better.. yea.. prayed.. and it went well.. was blessed.. i guess me and her will go well afterall.. went msia on sat.. well.. pretty bored.. cos i was thinking of her all the time.. after that.. she sms-ed me.. yea those touching stuffs.. even had my cousin to ask me.. kor, y ur eyes so red.. are u ok? yea.. i told her im fine.. but of cos.. i expected her to be not ready.. but was really touched by her words.. during the night.. spoke to her on fone.. of cos.. some other things happened again.. and i think i speak unneccesarily too often.. making her feel upset and letting her think im doubting her.. u can think that i have a glib tongue and i sweet talk to u alot.. but knowing me so long.. i believe u noe i aint that kinda guy to u.. i may be able to speak well.. but u noe.. when comes to someone i really love.. i always stammer.. i noe speaking all these now dont make any difference.. cos im stupid enough to say those words that would make u feel bad.. im sorry.. well.. i noe wad i say now is useless.. i had everything i prayed for infront of me.. thanks to my sheer stupidity.. i lost everything now.. i wont cry.. as promised to change.. but this pain is nv gonna heal i guess.. thanks to myself.. once again.. i can only say sorry.. but i hope 1 day u do realise.. everything i told u.. yes.. they might be sweet talks.. but its all from the bottom of my heart.. and.. those tears were priceless.. u were nv wrong in letting them down.. its me that made u feel that.. im sorry.. i really dont mean it.. but i caused my own tragedy.. i just wanna let u noe.. in my heart u are inreplaceble.. no matter how big the storms are.. i will ride them just for u.. im really sorry..