scribbled ; 8:49 pm on Sunday, April 17, 2005
today went crc for training.. bad training to me at least.. except for nuke where i really performed beyond expectations.. the rest.. simply cannot make it.. =/ i dunno why.. im feeling a really heavy burden.. cos besides me.. no one can cmd in the team.. so its like.. when i die.. the team has a high chance of collapsing.. i really feel very tired and scared.. cos i cant make myself die.. and cant allow my teammates to die.. so i feel really pressurized.. hais.. dunno wad to do at all..