fading away..
scribbled ; 11:02 am on Tuesday, November 23, 2004
today im supposed to enjoy happily as im going to my class chalet.. but im not.. instead.. im worrying bout my uncle.. it really spoils my mood.. and i really dun have the mood to go anywhere.. but to take care of my uncle.. i noe im not working yet.. and i dont have any money with me.. i decided to give my uncle my poket money without saving any for myself.. ppl might think im stupid.. y give it to my uncle.. well.. u think about it.. if he's someone really close to you.. stayed with you since u were young.. what would u feel? naturally u will feel hurt.. and im really hurt by him.. he always repeat the same mistakes.. never have the determination to turn over a new leaf.. it really hurts me seeing him becoming this way.. really hurts... my heart has tears running down it.. and i really cant bear to see these happening.. my holiday mood had been spoiled once and for all.. when will this deep scar heal? i think it will never.. unless till 1 day my uncle realises his mistakes.. and willing to work on it and turn over a new leaf.. or else.. i will feel this way.. till the day i die.. definitely.. coz he's the closest to me among my family members.. i really hope he changes.. thats my wish.. really my wish.. and just to tell everyone outside who noes me.. im really sry to all of u.. if this few days.. i show my temper to u guys.. im really sry.. pressure has taken over me.. i really apologize for that.. and as for YOU.. i really cant ask u out now.. or maybe not in the short term.. i believe i am unable to make u happy at all.. my family problems have occupied my heart.. u stand a place.. but i cant really contribute.. and i guess u didnt like me all along.. so its fine with me.. ur place is cemented.. it will nv be removed..